我

我是白痴，我比白痴还要白痴。

1. Yiruma - I

i love this music so much...this always can help me to calm dwn myself, it is just so nice, i feel so comfortable. Finally have been done for my shop anniversary day, actually this can be much more better,there are always a mistake on staff / workers. It is just so difficult to solve it. Im quite speechless as well. Seriously im the 1st time getting "said" but other ppl parent in that way.Frm kids till now also never letting ppl say like that, im always do for my own job,stand on my own position,do my best all the way but 2day..im really disappointed...cause actually things can be avoid bt it happened!!!wth~

体贴

记得他曾经说过关心是出自于心里/内心，几时又能够再体会到？还有机会吗？嗯。。。。。。

Miley cyrus I miss you lyrics

她的他

还是忍不住找他了，谈了一下，虽然只是闲聊，纯属朋友间的话题，可是我的心很安定，就像。。。毫无目标的心归来了，心情自然而然的好了起来。平静许多。=）可能他还是最了解我的那个。他总能够知道我要表达什么，哈，原来四年不是谈假的，知我者莫若他也。安慰啊。。。

这样就够了，偶尔听到他的声音，蛮不错一下，只是他是她的了，不介意是假的。可是人是自私的，不是吗？明知不因该可是。。。当初她如何对我，我只是学她而已，况且我做的只是皮毛而已。我是很坏，可是又怎样？

庾澄慶 - 戒不掉

I like this song so much and hate this song too. It makes me feel so sad and pain, everytime when i feel unhappy,tired,mad or any bad emotion i must listen to this song. Thankx for "shiori" intro this song to me when i've break with my mr.T. Miss him lots, ya, i know i shuld not, but who cares?! Just usual with sharing everything of mine with him, till now still feel wants to but just can't. 2gather 4 years, break till now 3 years plus, what am i doing? Sigh~ Why i still think wants to rely on him? He have a warm arm,big shoulder..I miss it. He always help me to settle my things,give me any that he can give me,treat me like his babe gurl, cause of not appreciate and missunderstanding, everythings is gone. I lost the one who can let me to rely on. Be...i miss u, always feel wants to call u but i cant, maybe this is what call "bao ying", i dint treat u nicely that i can, im so sorry. Maybe u are right, i could not find the one who love me so deep just like u do, last time im not believe it but now i believe, you are really too nice to me till i duno to appreciate. Im so jealous the girl with u now! Just like what i always said: u r mine! lolx...now...past tense. Maybe many people will not understand, it had been so long ago why i still cant put it down, just because there are no one treat me just like u do! Im not a tough people, I like to cry and u will beside me and ask me to stop cz u will feel pain cz of my tears. How shuld i put it all down..my gosh!

Lucky mr.T no chance to read this, if not he must say sorry to me n what i only can get is sorry only,i will prefer choose not to listen. Im back to my original life before meeting mr.T. Maggi as my meal always, read novel, alone for anything, wont laugh like crazy, wont talk so much and more. Without him, my life is just so messy, i miss he scolding me cz of maggi, like he scold me too concentrate on novel n dun care him...i miss he accompany me shopp during my offday with calling him,kacau him,laugh with him...why today memories keep coming back to me? T.T Just because of this song?

我们说好的-Zhang LiangYing(张靓颖)

看了一次又一次，感觉还是一样。真的没什么是可以说好的，无论当初说的多么美好，到头来还是空头支票。不抱有希望就不会失望，这不是悲观，只是一切的一切都是已发生的事实证明。可能自己已经选择放弃相信，没什么值得相信。况且相信需要多大的勇气。或许是我没勇气了！那种痛，还是不要再经历比较好！

張雨生、張惠妹 - 最愛的人傷我最深 (KTV)

sakitnya~

Today is my another offday. Yesterday went for donate blood but meet a "smart" nurse make me quite worst.finger nails get hurt by my own,wrist pain again,back oso pain,wow...i got lot painful place. Just 22 years old but sound like 60 years old..lolx..

Last nite have a nice chat with my buddy-Nigel. Really have a nice chat, learn few lessons from him. Acconts have to be cleared, no credit term to be given. That right but is what i always cant do it but from now on i'll try to do. 2ndly, realistic n selfishness. Yeah, sometimes this 2 things is just use to protect myself. In this realistic world, we cant live without it if not we are always live behind peoples. I will going to be that, ofcourse, wont be over. Lolx..after the nice chat, feel much more better, atleast found someone that i can be communicate well.

As the same, my work and shop things always ruin my only off day. It shuld not continue always, I need to have my own off day, cant they think about it, please gv a lil bit fair to me. *sigh* but they never know.

However, good day to myself. =)

Off day without Him

Im back to last time, my previous single life time. This the 1st time my off day without him and i went for window shopp alone. My mind full of things, thinking while walking, wondering am i really can do what i have think just now. It doesn't matter is it im walking alone or not, but i still can't shopp with a relax mind. *sigh*

I want set of cloth frm MNG i plan to buy, pair of CarloRino heel shoes and bag, 2 cloths frm isetan,a bracelet frm ThomasSabo, a pearl necklace frm isetan, want to have a facial section, straighten n color my hair, repair my Titus watch, searching for new phone, plan to continue my C&G, thinking promotion for shop, money arrangement, bills, loans....everythings......what else?yeah...planning go to travel alone..lolx..could i?can i?shall i?may i?( Izzit very blur about what am i talk bout here?it just because even i shopping also cannot concentrate, ya..from the beginning i am enjoy n plan what to buy, but then it end up with all those trouble things!)FUNNY!

Off day just gone like that, but i still have alot things to do and prepare. When can i really enjoy my shopping period,off day or anythings....hw good if bills is not follow behind my butt..possible?

Angry

Super duper angry! Every time also the same, never stand on my side and think then judge me just like that. Why don't we change our position for some period? I know the problem is growing bigger, that why i want to change and solve, i really could not stand in that situation anymore. But then.....haih..totally fed up!

Not going to explain and hope understanding, know what? Cause when peoples already set in mind that is the answer then that is the answer, never try to understanding! When the time i stress for so much things i face alone, when i need help to solve problem, is just like a big joke!

Whatever, never ask me to explain anymore! Don't said im hiding, is just no understanding!

Dissapointed

I've make a decision bout work, I don't know whether is right or wrong ( i hope is right) but no matter how, the begin meaning was gone, i was so sad but speechless...ya, i am speechless. Suddenly feel that i have no point to start the business, i dint get what i want,dint get what i aspect but i lost many things. Is that really worth for me to start it? It was too late to think bout this question. Everything have change and gone, meaningless.

That why, i decide i change my plan and change everything. Since i feel there are meaningless to me. Work hard, give much but what i get after 1 year? Look at me, what i get and what i have now?

I need to find my way out without them. Nobody are worth for me to rely on..reliable never happen in my life but cheating? Maybe.

I'm in trouble...right now.

Feel wants to write something but is empty right now. when things gain till too much then will cause empty. maybe i should said, when troubles gain till too much. I'm so miss my previous year life style, no big deal to worried about, no debts, i can do whatever what i want, buy whatever what i buy, i can always smile from heart. But now is so difficult to smile from my heart.

How? I couldn't pass it. I just want to cross over. When can i do that?

又傻又累的我

终于完成了答应别人的事，很傻很累人。 =）我就是酱。

我又呕了，可能太饿了，早上九点多吃了我的快熟面，五点多吃了两块小蛋糕，十点半后再到“麻麻档”吃晚餐，回到家却全吐了。唉。。。其实我还肚泻。。 =（ 怎么办？

突然很想念我的长发，有一丝的后悔。许多人都问我，舍得吗？可是不舍得又怎么办？留着真的有用吗？有没有人想过我需要怎样的勇气来把那头长发剪短？陪了我那么久的长发，曾经他最爱的长发，我剪了，不舍就如不舍他。不做第三者就要放弃他，这是我的选择。好久没听到他的声音，那把可以安慰我的声音，哄我入睡的声音。他还真的很残忍。朋友们，我不是忘不了，只是很怀念，别担心。更何况我不打算忘了他，因为越要忘却越忘不了。与其这样不如偶尔想想他，我会更好过一点。他永远都是最好的，至少现在还没出现第二位比他对我更好的人。他的温柔体贴最贴心，谢谢哦，只能怪我没好好珍惜。在外或工作时的我可以很独立，有主见，可是下班后或回家后，我的伪装也下班了，我变得很嗲，懒懒的，名副其实的小女人。可是自从没了他，放工下班回家后我还是那个伪装了的我，不曾休息过。就算生病了还是独自一个人。多久了？嗯。。。很久了。。。怎么我还没习惯？难怪我那么的累。

想起他为我唱的那一首歌-王菲，我愿意。。。很想再听一次，就那么一次，至少在我生病时我想听。我知道无法如愿，没关系，听原唱的也不错。

my bfs's Big Day

Yesterday 9th of Oct was my partner+best friend--Rico, BIG DAY. Yeah~ he getting married, already registered. Happy for him =)

Just back from sing k at Puchong Neway....lolx...i can announce myself bangcrup already, because of the City & Guild certificate, i'm so save for my money >.< be =")

Gambatte Siew Kuan, you can do it ^^

发现

对，我超没安全感。。。

ZerO

I'm so brave today. I've cut my very long straight hair, the hair stylish and shampoo girl keep confirm with me whether i'm really confirm to cut my hair short? Lol... YES! Defintely confirm. =) in mandarin,剪掉三千烦恼丝, i'm totally agree with that. Back to ZERO! I've get a new start.

However Im so cute right now XD Looks like a kid =) My customer Nadia and Rachel also said so...hahaha...new image for me and is my new image for my dear friends also. =)

Ya, todays is my boss-Ernest birthday too. Happy birthday!

New image, new start and NEW ME =)

差！

突然发觉原来一直以来我对别人太好了，对自己太差了！我要好好的善待我自己！付出的一切都是垃圾！

对了，承诺永远都不会发生在我身上，无论是什么关系，承诺永远都是垃圾，只不过是谎言，骗人的！我永远都不会相信。承诺根本就是屁话！

每次都是我在让步，我不是没脾气，只是不想吵！我不是要依赖，只是怕做错决定！一切的一切·都是我想太多，现在才知道我多幼稚！到底有没有人还记得开始的阶段？开始时说过的话到底记得吗？无论是ex，朋友，战友都是一样的。。。骗人，都骗人的。开始辛苦时的那段日子根本就被遗忘了，只有我一个那么的笨，还在相信我们都维持着之前的关系。根本没有一个人坦诚一切，全都收起来不说，剩下的就只是埋怨彼此。

失望透了！烂透了！

早安，晨之美

累了，所以放弃。

Busy Working Day

* ( My childhood dance partner ^^)*

Today was my busy day. Is good to me because it mean my shop got lots of customer *weeeee* But it makes me feel tired because or not enough staff. Previous days i was just so weak because of my gastric, no matter how many times i get warning from doctors or my bfs, i will still gastric. Yeah~ it just because im notty, dint follow their advise, so what i get is eat lots of medicine and wasting money to look over doctor... lolx..

While driving back home form work, there are somthing fly over my mind. I so need and hope i can live follow the schedule. What i mean is really follow the time table and live, is that possible to me? I really wanted to go gym every morning, then have my vitamin C, breakfast, work, lunch/tea time, back home, do my own things, do my own practical, then sleep early. When can i do that? hmmm.......seriously i really want to.

Yesterday i saw some picture that really can make me "let go" him(heart break). Finally, i can do that. Even that picture make me feel pain. But is really the time to let go and i have my own life without him. No matter how sick am i, how moody am i, how sad am i, how angry am i,how happy am i, i would not look for him anymore. I promise to myself. Promise is always a promise.

So now i just need to concentrate on my business, practical, exam, partners, bfs, family....I've got lots of things to do and prepare, i noe im wasting my practical time, but what to do, no mood for that at the moment..sigh~ I will cheer myself up soon, very soon. =)

Return

Have been a year I dint post any things here, seriously im not the type that will always do the same things for a longer period, this could be a good and a bad habit. Ya, is my habit. Will repost things here is just because i've got too much thing hide inside my heart, this could be the only place to let me shout out.

I've read back what my previous post, is was my memories. Time pass fast. My shop is 1 year old already. Is so good that is still runnning quite well. Of course, is my babe. My friends all will come back soon from oversea, mean they are start their job soon, hope everythings is fine and good luck to all of them. Same for me. =)

When i was still young (secondary time), i've always heard from peoples, man's world is cant to be believe or can't fully believe in. I was so curious about it last time, but now, i am totally agree bout it. No matter what had happened on me or just around me, that could be the evidence or prove of it. Man, is that loyalty is so difficult for you?! Let's change a word- end. Man, can you please think bout the ending before any decision or action u have make/made? *sigh* What and how could I believe again?